Pastor Says: I Punched a Kid ‘As Hard As I Could’ for ‘Not Taking the Lord Serious’!!!

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Pastor Says: I Punched a Kid ‘As Hard As I Could’ for ‘Not Taking the Lord Serious’!!!

Post by Big Fat Heretic on Thu Jan 22, 2015 6:39 am

OK, this is one for the books!

It just keeps on getting worse out there every fucking day!

Please do check out this AlterNet article at . . .

Here it is!!!

Pastor: I Punched a Kid ‘As
Hard As I Could’ for ‘Not
Taking the Lord Serious’

That'll learn him!

A pastor at the Bible Baptist Church in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey is coming under fire after his church posted a video of him claiming to have converted a “smart aleck” youth by “punching him in the chest as hard as I could.”

Photo Credit: via YouTube

Pastor Eric Dammann begins by saying that he met a young man in Calgary named “Ben,” who was “a nice kid, but one of those — he was a real smart aleck. He was a bright kid, which didn’t help things — made him more dangerous.”

“We were outside one day at youth group,” Dammann continues, “and he was just trying to push my buttons. He was just kind of not taking the Lord serious [sic].”

“So I walked over to him and went BAM! Punched him in the chest as hard as I could. I crumpled the kid. I just crumpled him.”

“Then I leaned over and said, ‘Ben, when are you going to stop playing games with God?’ I led that man to the Lord right there,” he concludes.

According to the church’s official history, Bible Baptist is a “family-focused body of multi-cultural believers…founded by a group of five ladies during the early part of the 1920's.”

Watch Dammann recount his meeting with “Ben” below via YouTube.


WOW! I mean, like, really! Just WOW!!!

Yeah! The bastard, uh, the pastor, (no, I mean bastard!) said . . . . .

“He was a bright kid, which didn’t help things — made him more dangerous.”  

Oh my goodness gracious! We can't have that now! Can we!

Yeah! Being too intelligent makes one more dangerous!

OK, I get that now!

Anyway . . . . .

Did you know, that if you punch someone in the chest hard enough you can stop his heart?

Yeah! That is a scientific medical fact!

Oh! But Christian Fundies reject science, and I guess Jesus whispered in his ear and told him that it was OK to punch the kid in the chest.

Yes! The kid did convert, after the Pastor's method of persuasion.

OK, back when I was 11 years old, in the 5th grade, I had my first male teacher who was a sports-obsessed tyrant who liked to harass me in the gymnasium. I was lousy at sports because of a crippled up left knee.

Anyway . . . . .

One day, in the gym, we were playing basketball, and the ball slipped out of my hands.

Oh! How terrible! The ball slipped out of my hands! My oh my, what a serious infraction of the law!

Well . . . he picked up the ball, and punched me in the stomach with it as heard as he could. I stopped breathing for, I don't know how long, but it seemed like forever before I could start breathing again. I nearly blacked out.

I was damn lucky that he didn't fracture any of my ribs, but my ribs were sore for a week after that.

OK, in my case, it wasn't for religious reasons that I was punched in the stomach!

Oh wait! I take that back!

Yes! It was for religious reasons!

Sports is another religion!

And my dropping the ball must have been considered an act of blasphemy against the sports gods!  

Yeah! I get it now!

Also, when I was in grade school, I was already reading at high school and adult level, and I was always interested in science, especially Astronomy.

Yeah, I knew too much, and I guess my teacher felt that it made me dangerous.

Oh! Yes, the kid did convert after the persuasive punch to the chest!

But I have to wonder how long the conversion will last.

My punch in the stomach with the basketball did not convert me into a sports lover. No, in fact, I hated sports even more after that episode.

So, I guess it will only be a matter of time before before his conversion to Christ wears off.

It appears that very little has changed since I was a kid. In fact, it's gotten even worse.

If it had been my kid that he had punched in the chest, I would have tied that Pastor's hands behind his back, shoved a big cow-flop into his mouth, sewn his lips shut, and kicked him in the balls!!!

We actually allow people like him to live?

And breed?

And vote?

Big Fat Heretic
Big Fat Heretic
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